Why Dwelling on the Past is Destructive

As I continue to read Amy Morin’s book on “13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do.” I wanted to share with you her chapter on “They Don’t Dwell On the Past”. She is quoted as saying:

The Simple Answer is Love

5 Myths about Mental Health

According to Amy Morin,LCSW, is a licensed clinical social worker and psychotherapist. Here are the 5 Myths about Mental Health.

"One in five Americans experience a mental health problem in any given year. Yet many people suffer with their symptoms in silence. The stigma that continues to surround mental-health problems prevents them from getting the help they need.

Here is a picture of my gym on Saturday where I work out. It was packed and I refer to this as "Alumni Month" . All the people who have not worked out all year are back to the gym as a New Year's Resolution. However , by February 1 they will all be gone and will have broken their New Year's Resolution of working out again.

How many times to we read or hear about your “typical “New Year’s Resolution that sound like a broken record. Let’s see they are exercise more, lose weight and do a better job at something right? Blah, Blah and more Blah. The same old thing every year.

So I took the time to research some of your “Not So Typical” New Year’s Resolutions. That might get you motivated to really do something different this year and maybe for the first time stick to accomplishing those goals.

So here are the most A-Typical New Years’ Resolutions I was able to find:

1.  Spend more time with the people that matter: There is just too little time in this life for us to waste it on insincere, duplicitous and toxic people. We should focus on the people who we care about deeply and who care about us, as this is the best way to stay happy.
2. Reinvent yourself: If you don’t feel quite happy no matter what you do, it is perhaps time to make some serious changes in your life. Reinventing yourself can give you a whole new perspective on life and take you in directions you may never have dreamed were possible.
3.  Learn to be happier with your life: Even those that are in decent shape, make a good living and have stress under control can still be unhappy. It takes time and patience to learn how to find joy in the little things and not to let problems bring you down.
4. Face your fears and insecurities: You will find this particular point masked beneath other New Year’s resolutions, but fear and insecurity are often the cause of several problems that we want to address. You need to think of it as surviving and controlling your fear rather than overcoming it, and it will enable you to shed off a lot of the insecurities that you have.
5. Reduce stress: They say that stress is one of the biggest killers out there, and it can have a very destructive effect on your relationships as well as your health. It may be an unavoidable side effect of our hectic modern lifestyles, but it can be effectively managed with the help of useful, unconventional and easy to practice tricks for stress management.
6. Improve your concentration and mental skills: People have been trying to find ways to improve their focus and cognitive capacities for thousands of years, and most ancient civilizations had some combination of mental exercise and herbal medicine to help them reach this goal. Today we can use anything from apps to ancient meditation techniques to boost concentration and hone our mental skills. If you go through with this, you will be able to control your mood, learn faster and have an easier time solving problems.
7. Become more confident and take some chances: If you are confident other people notice it, and it is much easier to have your opinions heard, ask people out on dates and get ahead at work. A good dose of self-confidence will help you lead a much happier life overall. Don’t hesitate to get some input on ways to boost your confidence.
8. Have better sex: Any healthy relationship requires a good deal of intimacy, and sex can actually help keep us mentally and physically healthy. The idea is to make it a fun and rewarding experience, and this is something that comes with practice and exercise.
9.  Turn your hobby into a career: If we could all manage to marry fun and productivity, and be able to make money doing what we love, we’d be a much more content and well-balanced society. This may not always be possible, but there are cases where a hobby can be turned into a lucrative career.
10. Stick to the good healthy habits you’ve developed: The last, and most important point to mention is that all the positive changes you make have to be permanent. You will need to work on sticking with the good habits you have adopted, until they just become a natural part of who you are. That is how you achieve true self-improvement.

Maybe it’s time to start turning your life around. Get help in figuring out what your New Year’s Resolutions should be by grading the quality of your life.

Start grading your life by using our “Life’s Grade Card” that grades 12 different categories in your life. Get your free “Life’s Grade Card” by clicking on the blue button below.

Top 7 ways for a stress free holiday

Each year as we anxiously look forward to the holiday season, thoughts of excitement, magic and cheer fill our imaginations. So, why does it seem like the holidays can go from “merry “to “scary”. So here are the top 7 ways for a stress free holiday written by Life Vantage magazine:

1. Think positive: This is foundational in creating a stress free holiday. If you intentionally move into the holiday season believing that it will be a positive one, you are much more likely to be able to create a positive season. Be intention about being positive and make positive choices toward achieving your goal.
2. Plan a Real Vacation: I know, the holidays are about traditions… but do they have to be? Consider breaking up your holiday routine and taking yourself and your loved ones on a real vacation. A vacation focused on quality time, relaxation and new experiences. Don’t worry about all the cooking and gifts. The time together is all that is needed.
3. Go Tech-Free: Easier said than done, right! Give it a shot, Event if it’s just for a day, or a weekend. When you have time intentionally planned with those closet to you to celebrate the holidays, be intentional to disconnect from technology. Tell the world they can wait.
4. Give a “Hands on” Gift: What about giving gifts that are specifically designed to help those around you relax? Think foot massage, back or shoulder massage…even go a bit further and think of books, retreat gift certificates, or chiropractic sessions. Think through gifts that could promote relaxation for your family and friends not only during the holidays but all throughout the year.
5. Be A Picky Volunteer: So may needs, so little time. The fact is you cannot say yes to everything if you desire a stress free holiday. Pick the causes most important to you and stick with those. Don’t be afraid to say no.
6. Get Outside: It does not really even matter what you do outside. Exercise, let the sun touch your skin, roll around in the snow… all or nearly anything will invigorate your energy levels and keep you moving forward while keeping your stress level low.
7. Forget Perfection: It’s so easy to get wrapped up in how others will perceive the way you plans your holidays. Or maybe is not pressure from others: maybe you are one who expects perfection from yourself. Either way, you have to forget it the reason why you ask? Because it not possible. Neither will you, not anyone achieved perfection. However… you could die trying.

The Miracle of Life

Sometimes I think we take our life for granted. I know that when I was younger, I had this notion that I was invincible, that I could continue to make unhealthy choices and there would be no consequences. I was on a path that could have led to disaster but I was stopped in my tracks. Several challenges presented themselves that forced me to change my path. And I am thankful that I did.

We are all presented with opportunities for change. We get nudges that it is time for a different job, a different relationship, a different city, a different life. What gets in the way of taking that step towards a happier life? Usually it is a set of limiting beliefs that were created from a story that no longer holds true in our lives. We get caught up in thinking that change is too difficult and so we continue to tolerate that which no longer serves us.

Why Men are “Stuck on Stupid” when it comes to getting Mental Therapy Services

What are you afraid of? 

As we draw closer to the last quarter of the year, it is time to begin an inventory of how we are doing in 2015. We all have dreams and goals. The question becomes one of focus and diligence. What was the number one thing that you said you wanted to work in January 1, 2015? Do you remember? Did it stay in the forefront or fall by the wayside? The year isn’t over yet.

Today is the day to begin and choose one thing that you will start to focus on that will turn your dream into reality. You will have approximately three months starting on October 1st. If you did one thing everyday that would be a little over 90 things that could impact your life. If you are unclear about where to start, spend some time looking at the parts of yourself that you don’t normally think of as a gift. What is your hidden talent? What are the parts of the self that haven’t talked to one another in years?