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Why Men refuse to get therapy- Vulnerability=Weakness

Posted by Mark Nolte on Nov 18, 2015 5:41:10 PM
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Why Men refuse to get therapy- Vulnerability= Weakness

In Brene Brown’s book- “Daring Greatly” she talks about being vulnerability in order to start getting the help we need. That showing that vulnerability is the first step in admitting you may need to get help. But as a man that last thing we want to be considered is vulnerable because in the masculine world that is a sign of weakness. As a male showing weakness brings on the feeling of shame. Simply put for men showing Vulnerability = Weakness= Shame.

So it looks like this for males:

  1.        That someway “Asking for help” = weakness for males

  2.       That it is un-masculine to ask for help and therefore “shameful”.

  3.        To show “shame” is embarrassing or a sign of weakness


You see as a male we are defined by what Dr. Brown calls our “Limited Define Roles”. As a once husband and father of three daughters my “Limited Define Role” was to be the “bread winner”, the solid rock foundation and protector of the family. To be brave and to show no fear or be vulnerability. Because my family would become insecure if I started showing signs of vulnerability or weakness. Therefore I would be doing a disservice to my family and not fulfilling my role as a father and husband. Therefore we are a “prisoner” within our own sole because of this “Limited Define Role”.

A prime example of this are the brave soldiers who come back from serving our country in war in Afghanistan and Iraqi. How they have been “tougher than nails” and brave in times of battle. But now suffer from PTSD but are too proud to seek the help they need due to this not wanting to show vulnerability or weakness because of this so called “Limited Define Role.”

However this mentality must stop! As a male who once suffered from depression myself. I know how hard it was to admit I needed help and that I needed to get help. Fortunately for me I did get the help I needed and now live a much happier and productive life. But I know if I had not got the help I would have gone in a downward spiral and eventually taken my life.

However, now there is a simpler solution that was not available when I need help and I wish it had been available. That solution is online counseling.

One of the toughest things for me was to actually go into the lobby of the doctor’s office. In fear I might run into someone I know or be recognized by someone I know.  With online counseling you can now do it from the privacy of your home. Making it for a very discreet and private counseling.

If you think online counseling is something you would be interested in and would like to learn more. Click on the blue button to learn how online counseling works.

How Online Counseling Works


Topics: What is Online Counseling & Life Coaching